Therapy Thursday

Letters From My Sister

a true form of therapy...

On Getting your Christmas Wish List Together

Family…

Yep, you know it, it's that time once again! Time to put the tree up, and to dream of a white Christmas, and to come on ring those bells, AND time to start thinking about your Christmas Wish List. That's right, what would you love most to find waiting for you under that Christmas tree of love this Christmas?? Do you hope for a little red wagon, the kind that makes you fly, whatever it is, your heart desires, now is the time to be thinking about it. And I propose this year we write our lists in the form of a letter to Santa Clause. Yes, that is right, a sweet letter telling Santa what it is YOU want for Christmas this year. Then forward that letter on to everyone else, and it will be just like Santa Clause is coming to our doorsteps once again, dropping off wonderful surprises for us to wake up to on Christmas morn. And don't forget to remember, Jesus is the Reason for the Season! Much Love and Happy Santa Writing (Ryan this means you too!) ~Mel

On Responding to Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Do you know what the date of today is? It has to be almost Thanksgiving, right? Oh wait...let me look at my calendar. That can’t be right...my calendar says it’s only Oct 9. So only 9 days ago we were in the month of freakin’ September.

I am still high off the big Columbus Day celebration we had yesterday. We still have Reformation Day, Halloween, All Saints Day, Election Day, Veterans Day, Remembrance Day (for our Canadian friends up north), Thanksgiving, Feast of Christ The King (for you Catholics), Chanukah (for people of Jewish descent) and even Advent before we get to Christmas.

Please get back to me when we are about 30 days away from Christmas. I might have a list ready. I have to see what I get for All Saints Day first before I can finalize my list.

Much Love and full of the Holiday Spirit,

Ryan

On Some Things Never Changing

It's Christmas in Killatee with all the folks at home! (She means Killarney, a Bing Crosby Christmas classic.)

I know, I know Ryan, I'm not allowed to start any of this until AFTER Thanksgiving, but I just can't help it!!! So since we are going with the theme, Less is Best, this year, I thought it would be a good idea to start giving suggestive suggestions, not saying you have to stick with any code of buying, but you know, just thought since I was going to be starting my Christmas looking that YOU could start giving me your Christmas listings! =) That rhymed.

On Following Up

Well Hello Again Everyone!!

This is your friendly reminder that I will be doing most and hopefully ALL of my Christmas shopping on Black Friday (actually, the outlet malls in San Marcos open at 12am on Thursday night and the biggest sales will be going on from 12-6am, and I will SO be there! And if anyone would like to join me it will be a TON of fun!!!), but anyways, this is your last opportunity to give me a list of what you want, otherwise I will just be creative, but I'm not actually a very creative person so it will be to your benefit to send me a list!!!

Dad and Sarah, you have sent out a very small list, and unfortunately Sarah, I don't think I'll be able to buy you furniture. Dad, you have sent out just a few things as well, and there just aren't enough things on your list to go around...kay???? (And by the way, that runner's calendar looks really cool, but that site is shady!! They won't even tell you how much you are paying for everything and they just say "bill you later", which is very tricky business, I put in a fake name and address to see if the total would come up at the end, and it didn't, so BOB GEORGE who lives on 555 East Dr. in San Antonio will be receiving a runner's calendar this year =) Hope the house is vacant or non-existent.)

On what to buy Melissa’s cat, Tiger, for Christmas

My cat, who is most definitely mentally handicapped, truly needs other things to occupy its poor little feeble mind, because as of right now, he is eating toilet paper, and I'm not sure where he got the toilet paper from, considering we ran out last night, but this is how he spends most of his days, except when he is napping in his kitty litter box. So really, he needs toys.

On the Pervasive Randomness My Sis Possesses

From Dad: I don't know what it's like where you guys are, but it's snowing where I am! Don't worry, supposed to be less than an inch accumulation...barely enough for a snow mouse!

Melissa’s response: I LOVE SNOW MOUSES!!!

Melissa’s response to me adding my mother in law to the family e-mail list, “Hmmmm, I recognize all those e-mail addresses up there, except who is Ila???? Well anyways, nice to have a new family member aboard, whomever you are!”

On Planning a Party when Melissa is Unavailable

Family- As we all know, no one can have an adequate, happily spent, mesmerized, delightful, wonderfully intoxicating (on joy of course), lovely, Happy Birthday Day party without ME, HELLO!!! And of course the others might add something special as well. So I vote NO for this course of action! NO because I like cake, yummy foods, and ice cream, and I like presents (even if they aren't mine), and I like biscuits, and sing-song fests, and old grandparents telling lame jokes, and animals running around the house like a wild barn or a forsaken zoo. And so my vote is NO, because without all of this, how could one really, truly, have a happy birthday???? I must say it would be non-sensical, unfashionable, unthinkable, illogical.... absurd, asinine, brainless , cockamamie, crazy, daffy*, daft , dingy, dippy*, doltish *, dotty*, fantastic, fatuous , feebleminded*, half-baked*, half-witted*, harebrained... to truly think you could have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, without me and all the other things that make birthdays so special at the Chisolm house!!.

(Sorry, I had to rely on dictionary.com to help with those last words =)...)

But, I guess it is not MY birthday, and so whatever suites you best, well, I guess we have to go with that idea, even if that doesn't include me and yummy food and disturbed animals. Ok, Fine, My Vote is YES, yes you can have your happy birthday without me, but don't think I'm not going to sulk about it, because I am.

On The Deep Well That Runs Within Her

I remember the words that are on the little board at Glorieta. You'll have to stop by and take a picture of the old wooden sign if it is still there. (The last time she saw this sign was over ten years ago):

An hour spent in silent prayer,

Within God's sacred garden here,

Brings sweet content within the soul,

as self I yield to His control.

I set each human problem free,

And in it's place, dear Lord, to thee,

I build an alter deep within

Secure from life's depressing sin.

On Loving Me Well

Melissa recently sent me an email with these words. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Sometimes I'm a selfish fake

You're always a true friend

And I don't deserve you

'Cause I'm not there for you

Please forgive me again

I wanna be there for you

Someone you can come to

Runs deeper than my bones

I wanna be there for you

I wanna be there for you

And be someone you can come to

The love runs deeper than my bones

I wanna be there for you

*Sometimes love and laughter are the best forms of therapy.

Thank you Melissa for being water to my soul…

and one of the best therapist’s I have ever known.*

Thank You Thank you Thank You Thank You Thank You ...

I mean, I don't even know where to begin.

Of course there are a dozen small miracles to tell you about and amazing stories of how God has totally taken care of us over the past five days, but it's hard to find an appropriate starting place. It's been like five days of Christmas or Oprah's Favorite Things or five days of perpetual winnings in Bingo or Bunko or Clunko or whatever all those fun games are called that I never win anything in.

I went to the bathroom in the LAX airport this morning and the seat was up and there was a bunch of blue, sparkly, bubbly stuff smiling at me from that toilet bowl and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was the first one to pull down the toilet seat and use it for the day and my germ-a-phobic-bathroom-booty- gun-shy self let out an audible, "YEEES!" because I knew I didn't have to squat. I knew I was the first one on that pot. And it was the greatest way to start my day ever.

Right now it's the small things in life that are making us happy and keeping us going.

I want to give some thank yous and quick stories.

To our dear friends Jimmy Mac and Lori in Las Vegas for coming out to the show even though they were tired. For realizing that the reason they were at the show was because they felt like God wanted them there to take care of us when we found out we had lost everything. And for taking Ryan, Annie, and I on a TJ Maxx shopping spree the next morning to replace our most basic essentials like undies, jeans, shoes, and clothes for Annie! They gave each of us a shopping buggy and when Ryan and I came back with about two or three things in it, Jimmy said, "Now it's none of my business but I'm pretty sure you didn't bring all your boxers and unmentionables to the gig last night and I don't see any in that buggy... you people need to go back and fill it up. I don't want to see you until that buggy is full." They laughed with us. Loved on our baby. And sent us on the road with, you know... unmentionables.

To the man at the front desk who had no idea what a HELL of a day we had on Friday, but randomly decided to upgrade Ryan and I to the penthouse suite of the Palace Station hotel! We could not help but laugh at the irony. Everything we own has been destroyed today. And back home we have two cars that don't work, a bunch of hospital bills, the IRS hounding us for self-employment taxes and here we are in a 1600 square foot penthouse with 30 foot long floor to ceiling windows, a guest bathroom, a jacuzzi, doorbell, 60 something inch TV, and a shower with a steamer in it overlooking the Las Vegas strip. If they only knew...

To Lyndi Hagen and her son Josh (oh forgive me, I think that is his name!) for showing up to our Las Vegas hotel the next morning with a HUGE bag full of Mary Kay products, because, as she said, "I don't care what happens to you, you still have to feel like a girl." A woman after my own heart. I know that she gave beyond her means. She gave sacrificially from her heart and that meant more to me than anything else. It would be AMAZING if some of you ladies out there would bless her in return by placing your next skin care, make-up order with her. She would be totally surprised and she deserves it. She is a beautiful mom working hard to raise her two sons and at the same time blessing someone above and beyond. If you use Mary Kay or just want to try something out to bless one of my new friends... please, please place your next order with her. Simply order online at: www.marykay.com/lhagen3.

To Jeff and Angie Bevel who were at the Las Vegas show with their daughters and offered to give us some of their own babies' clothes. She literally went home, washed the clothes, and met us at TJ Maxx the next morning with a huge bag of the most cutest, amazingest, designer baby clothes I have ever seen!!! Seriously, Annie has been styling all week in the best little outfits ever made. And I had to think, this is what Jesus would have done. Not simply given his leftovers. His old clothes that were out of style or dirty or useless... but he would've shown us what it meant to give our best. And that's what they did, literally took their daughter's cutest outfits and gave them to our baby girl. Thank you for not giving your leftovers, but the very thing you would want to dress your little girl in. On the way out their brother gave us an envelope full of cash.

To Connie and her daughter Jenny in Las Vegas who literally met us off the highway and filled our car with diapers, wipes, clothes, cheerios, and money.

To Yasmin and Katherine from Paso Robles who sent out a facebook request for baby items and came back with an ENTIRE van full of toys, clothes, books, DVD's, a brand new boppy, baby monitor, medicine, and everything else under the moon. They drove around all morning collecting things for us and then drove another hour to bring us the items and watched Annie while I sorted. Not only did we replace everything Annie needed, but we also made an entire stack of clothes and baby goods for our guitar player Ryan Gregg and his wife who are expecting their first baby girl in June! Katherine, who is in the third grade, was a little bummed the night before because all her friends were able to affords the expensive tickets that included a meet and greet and private concert. Yasmin told me that katherine said in the car, "Mom, this is so cool. This is exactly what we talked about in church. How one person can make a difference. We are able to help them by just asking and collecting things. That is so cool... and I bet all those other kids didn't get to play with her baby." This made me smile. Not only did they bless us, but in His own way and timing, God gave this little girl a very special blessing herself. How cool is that.

And finally to Scott and Happy Saunders who went through their closets and picked out their coolest clothes so that we could have stage clothes. Their goal was to try and get clothes that "looked like our style." I got my first ever (and probably last!) pair of Kenneth Cole boots. An Abercrombie coat. Things I would have never been able to afford. Happy said that there were a million reasons she could think of to keep these incredible wardrobe pieces, but she knew she was called to give us her best. Again, I am just simply amazed. Scott gave the guys a private gift that was above and beyond what we could have ever imagined. When he found out that we didn't even need what he felt called to give us, he said, "You know what, God has still told me to. I think he just wants you to know that you are going to be taken care of above and beyond what you could ever need or ask for."

There have been, literally, a hundred other people step in the gap. This is just the beginning of the thank you's...

Wherever you find yourself today, remember that people are good. God is faithful.

Week One of the Tour

Monday: Annie and I are with my parents in Albuquerque. The guys are supposed to leave Dallas at 9:00 a.m. on the RV. We rented the RV from an amazing couple who saw that we were in need of a vehicle for this tour and offered to let us rent theirs for a ridiculously low price.

The RV won't start. The guys don't leave Dallas until 6 p.m. The RV might not like us. They drive to the border of Texas and New Mexico.

Tuesday: The guys cross the border and the RV starts acting up. By late morning the RV has broken down again.

Tuesday afternoon: The RV is up and running, only a short circuit. They are in Albuquerque by late afternoon and we practice with our tour drummer, Richard. Tuesday night after dinner the RV won't start for the second time that day. We wiggle a wire around, and it starts.

Wednesday: We play the first show in Albuquerque!

Thursday: Leave for Phoenix. Somewhere in the straight desert the RV starts topping off at 40 mph and the whole interior reeks of diesel fuel. Annie is coughing. We are all feeling gross and fumy. Makes you a little nauseous after a while. We make it to Flagstaff. We need to get this thing checked out. A guy comes out to fix our RV. I call a local church and explain that because we are all Christians they are morally obligated to please come pick us up from this truck stop and give us a place in their church to crash for a few hours :). Not quick thinking... I saw my mom do this on youth trips when we were broken down with 300 students. I stole the idea. They promise to get us as soon as we need them.

Thursday afternoon: We head to Cracker Barrel for lunch. The RV man will fix it in their parking lot. Gotta love Cracker Barrel parking lots. We finish lunch. RV is fixed. We think. But as our driver Brandon begins his test drive the entire RV stops running on the side of the road. It is dead, dead. 1:oo p.m. We play in Phoenix at 8. This won't be fixed in time for the show, we need to rent cars and drive to Phoenix. The bus can meet us tomorrow. The random church, Christ's Church of Flagstaff, comes to pick up the boys and bring them to the airport.

Thank you Thank you Thank you Kathy and Christ's Church!

Me and Annie crash at Cracker Barrel. She is getting bugs and diseases from the floor... I am sure of it. We are on this floor for over an hour. She never cries once. She is a trooper.

The guys get back with the rental cars. We pack just enough clothes to get us through the night. We leave everything else we own on the RV and travel to Phoenix. We get there at 6pm. The show starts at 8 pm. This was a crazy long day but a great time with our Phoenix fans. And, I got to meet Stacey, a faithful blog reader who showed up with a bag full of girl gifts... she is perhaps my soul mate!

Friday morning: The RV is still in Flagstaff. It will not be ready in time to pick us up in Phoenix and drive us to Las Vegas. So we keep the rental cars and start driving. We have a show at 8 pm and a five hour drive. The drive is beautiful. We take time to stop and let Annie stretch and see her first cactus. She loves it. We get to Las Vegas without any hiccups. A welcome relief after two entire days of exhausting break downs and car trips with a ten month old. Brandon calls to say that they have fixed the RV, he is headed to Vegas and we will have our stuff and our vehicle back in a few hours. Whew... the worst is behind us.

Never say that people. It's like a challenge for the negative forces of the world to come after you. Brandon calls...

"Ryan the RV is on fire. I've tried two fire extinguishers. I can't contain it. Oh *&$# (expletive) it's exploding. There are explosions. I have to go."

The initial picture. The final picture. I guess it takes the fire department a while when you are in the freaking desert.

Friday night: Ryan breaks the news as soon as he gets it at dinner. The RV is on fire. The details continue to pour in. This isn't a grease fire. Not a small fire. This is huge. A huge fire. We get the call that everything is destroyed.

Mind you, I packed the entire contents of our apartment (besides furniture and appliances) and moved into this RV. Every piece of clothes Annie owns. All her toys. Her DVDS. Enough diapers and formula for two months. Every piece of clothing Ryan and I owned. Our shoes. Undies. Toiletries. Most of the new make-up :(. All of the new clothes we just got for free from our photo shoot. Books. Bibles. Food. New appliances for the RV. Vacuum cleaner. Coffee pot. Humidifiers. Baby Monitors. And then everything in the trailer. Sound board. the 4,000 t-shirts we just ordered (basically the only way we make money on the road...) all of our merchandise, new hats, new bags, suitcases, guitars, amps... everything.

We have lost everything.

As it rushes through my head, I have what I think is as close to a clinical breakdown as I have ever had :) I am on my face crying in a dark nursery. I am going to go home now. really. Truly. Tonight will be my last show Lord. I will not live like this and put my daughter through this and my husband through this kind of living anymore. I cannot take another blow. Another rapid. I can't do this. I call my pastor. Jackie, tell me what to do. Please. I don't even know what to do anymore. I cannot stand up under the weight of this. She prays. She says get up and bring honor to God by fulfilling my obligation for tonight and then we will figure out our next step after that.

The unfolding of events over the next 24 hours is another blog or two in itself.

For now you should just know: I did not quit. And you can't quit either. You can make it. Whatever the blow is, you can make it. You are not alone. Voice your burdens, share your struggles and ask God's children, the Big C church as my friend Christy calls it, for prayer. For help. Allow them to walk with you. And know that someone has come for you. You are not by yourself.

I will thank a host of people who have stepped in to take care of us later this week. But for now, that is my little Annie Boo in an outfit that we were given by a mom who insisted we take her daughter's clothes. I woke up this morning and I was able to put an outfit on Annie. I was able to dress her. Watch her squeal and kick and laugh.

She was not in her bed in the RV where she played and slept and talked.

The bed that erupted into flames out of no where.

The bed that sits right on top of the engine where all the electrical wires that were shorting out resided.

She was not on that bed when the flames erupted of nowhere. She was not in that RV when the fire quickly spread. When the explosions pierced the quiet of the desert. When the sun set on a smouldering bus that held our livelihood.

She was not there.

I dressed her this morning. I fed her. I held her in my arms. And watched as she chased squirrels in the park this afternoon. I will tuck her in tonight.

My stuff is gone... but my baby is safe.

The miracle this week is that the RV practically forced us to get off of it before it caught fire.

I've never been more grateful for a miracle in my life.

If you want to help Ryan and I replace our things, please feel free to make an on-line donation to our personal Paypal account: [email protected].

If you want to help the band replace gear you can make a donation at AddisonRoad.com.